Our truck made the turn off the main road and into Kozzika. Although we make the journey numerous times each week to hold the clinic, the sights never fail to captivate me. It's as if we've entered a completely new land, spanning as far as the eye can see - all views showing the same scene. One unfinished brick building after another, along dusty dry dirt roads that bear no names. The children run towards the car, some smiling and waving, others banging and throwing stones, sticks, whatever they can find. Other children are walking down the road kicking empty propane tanks, the most popular toy here. None of them attend school. Up until now i knew them only as my patients at the clinic. I knew nothing of what life consisted of for them outside of the exam room. I knew nothing about them except what they would tell me about how their children have worms, lice, cuts, infections, etc.. I examine them, give them some medication, and we go our separate ways. Today I was going to a home. We were going to visit some of the ladies and just spend time with them.

We walked down the dusty road through little alleyways, past the men who stand with crates of extremely old-looking vegetables...past the crowds gathered to pick up bread from the men making it in a little cement cubby... And finally to a pile of broken bricks and garbage leading into a small alley that was home to 4 families. They all ran out to greet us, the kids running up grabbing our hands and giving endless hugs and kisses, happily shouting "izzayik!" and pulling us inside to the one-room they all share. The room was dark, no light but the sun trickling in through the holes in the roof made from tin and wood sheets layed out over some beams. The floors were hard dirt, with a small rug in the middle that had almost become indistinguishable from the rest of the ground. We sat on something that felt like a hollow wooden box, covered with an old sheet. to the left and right were piles of dirty clothes that would be worn and reworn by whoever happened to get their hands on them. 5 or 6 women ran in to sit on the floor in front of us, bringing their children. More and more children seemed to pile in to the already crowded area. They pushed and shoved and hit each other as they normally do to get to where we were handing out bananas. The women gathered around our feet as we tried to speak with them. We examined some of the sick children and gave one of the older boys some money to get to the pharmacy and buy some medications. One young girl (younger than me) came in with her newborn baby. I held the baby for over an hour...this little child who hadn't even been on this earth more than a couple of months. Since diapers are a luxury most in kozzika do not have, the baby had gone to the bathroom a number of times in her little pants, and nothing was changed. There was sweat seeping through the layers of clothes she had on, and spit up/milk/other stuff caked on her shirt smelling as if it had been there for days. There was no food to be seen, no running water to be found, and doubtfully any electricity. There was a saddness that was unexplainable, and a simplistic life i just can not fathom. It seems all they wanted (women and children alike) was for someone to sit with them, pay attention to them, and make them feel like they mattered. That someone in this world knew who they were. That they were important enough to be remembered and acknowledged. As i was holding the little baby, i kept looking into her eyes and telling her that she was going to rise up and conquer all of this. That she was going to get an education, that she would become healthy and strong. That she would learn how to read and write and be an independant thinker. That she would come to an understanding that she is an important, beautiful girl who has the whole world open before her. I told her not to settle here, not to believe the lies that this is it. While I know she couldn't understand me, i wanted with all my heart to believe that she could. And even more than that, i wanted to believe it myself. I wanted to believe that there was a way to save this town. And the billions of people all over the world that live like this. That lay their heads down to sleep each night on dirt floors, that don't know when the next time they'll eat will be, that watch their children get deathly ill and can not afford treatment for them. That have to live with the guilt or helplessness of not being able to provide for their children. That have no hope. I began to see that this was a city of living dead. There is something in their eyes that cry out "even though i am still breathing, i am already dead". As we drove away something was just so impressed on my heart. Who will make a change here? If I don't do it, how do i know someone else will? But where can I start? And what can i do? It is such a big need, it is such an endless fight, and i am such a little person. Really, there is much i have to come to terms with. I have no idea how long I will have the priviledge of being with the women and children of Kozzika. But there is a world full of people who's circumstances are the same. They need hope, they need to feel loved. It is so hard to tell them about God's love, because it is illegal. They could get killed for converting from Islam, and we could be arrested for speaking about it. So it becomes what I think is really the true testimony of the faith - letting your actions speak louder than your words. It is more of a challenge to have your demeanor and your character reflect God. It makes you accountable to be so full of the character of Jesus that it becomes evident that there is something that sets you apart - something they must have. Something greater than money, material goods, etc... Each day is truly a life changing, eye-opening experience here. I wish often that there could be someone else from home to come join me on this wonderful adventure. I wish I could convey the feeling of being able to be here...it far outweighs anything life in America has to offer.


On all other fronts, things are going exceptionally well. As always, there is never a dull moment. This weekend we took a trip up to Alexandria and had great time just taking in the sites, eating the freshest fish the Mediterranean has to offer, and just sitting on the sea enjoying the company of our newly formed family. Anddd, after much much research and failed attempts at locating it - we finally scouted out the first Starbucks to open in all of Africa. Turns out the grand opening was this week so at around midnight (after being up since 5am!) we made the trek out by metro (subway) and taxi...and had a wonderful taste of home :) This week we had a surprise party for Jen, with lots of great laughs (i am officially known here for my very important position as uniform manager for marching band!), great food, and great friends. Book club on Friday was great...we have a wonderful time just getting to know each girl individually. Arabic classes are coming along and each week i can see that we are making great strides.

Jen and I sat down today and made an outline of all the things we want to accomplish this month. We've got lots of projects to work on for all sorts of things, the clinic, health classes, book club, sunday school, and other various things. Should be very, very, busy. This weekend the two of us are climbing up Mount Sinai on camels! You begin the trek at about 3am and get to the top in time to watch the sun rise. It is really incredible to be in a land where there is such history. I am not sure what I am going to feel when i stand at the place where it is believe Moses recieved the 10 commandments. It is so surreal at times. In Alexandria i thought much about what the land looked like years ago when Alexander the Great made his way through.

Okay, better get to bed. Early day tomorrow. I pray all is well with everyone back home.

Much love,
Nicole

here are some pictures from Alexandria:

Hi all,
Everything has been going great here. We've been working on a lot of Sunday School lessons and traveling to different villages and speaking to all the kids. It's a lot of fun...i love going into the different areas where people live. although in our eyes its so "ghetto" and remote and dirty...there is a beauty that underlies it all. There is an element to it that just makes you realize that life isn't about what you have or how things appear, it is about the people you are around and the contentment that comes from having love and joy in all circumstances. It makes me feel terrible about the things I complain about in my heart.

It was a good week at the clinic. On Monday, I shadowed someone and tried to learn the basics and how the system runs and all that. It's actually pretty fun! On Thursday, I started seeing some patients by myself (with a translator). Well..talk about the biggest "wow i know absolutely nothing" eye-opener ever! Between seeing families w/3-4 kids a piece at one time, not speaking the language, having to diagnose based on what the mother tells me in a language i don't understand with a translator that doesn't know much medical terminology...it was rough. Everyone has things i've never really seen a lot of in the states...worms, lice, ear infections that haven't been treated for months, etc.. Trying to prescribe medications was hard enough, but they are all medications from here so i'm trying to learn them all and make out the doses....all in arabic and in the stupid metric system. So needless to say it was pretty challenging and i had to ask a zillion questions but it has been a wonderful learning experience. I took home like a zillion inserts from the medications i am trying to learn to get the hang of all the new names, dosings, etc... It's also challenging to get used to the culture of the women here. It is hard to not get angry at them. One woman brought her baby (her 4th baby!) in at like a few weeks old...and she wasn't feeding her much except some beans and rice every once and a while. And like...had no clue it was not a good thing. Another brought her baby that was so protien malnourished that she had the craziest edema i had ever seen. Her little hands and feet were swollen like 6 times their original size. So sad. It's the worst when a mother comes in with a bunch of kids with all sorts of things wrong. They need all sorts of medications with all sorts of dosing and instructions. You are trying to tell them so many things...and it's hard with the translation barrier, and the fact that they cannot read. So even if you write out instructions, it means nothing to them. It's hard to give them times to give doses (like 8am, 1pm, etc..) b/c there is no real concept of time. There is no hygiene (hense everyone and their uncle has worms and lice), which doesn't help health prevention much. It is such a challenge, and it has inspired me even more to work in the arena of public health. So much to learn and adjust to, but I can't wait to continue :)

Arabic lessons have also been going well. 2 hours a day every day with a private tutor will get you pretty far pretty fast. I have homework and studying though, so it adds to the great list of things to be doing here. It's such a pretty language though!

Tonight after sunday school we all took a ride in a river boat down the Nile at sunset. It was really beautiful (despite the great views that are messed up by all the smog here!!). At one point i was looking out and just trying to grasp the reality that so many historical and biblical things happened here so long ago. That there was so much history there. I wondered who walked the shoreline that i walked on. Who traveled this same way thousands of years ago?

Tomorrow we head over to Garbage City....the dump of Cairo that has become home to thousands of street kids. The more i see areas like this, the more humbled i am to be here. I feel priviledged to be among the "least", and i almost pity the lives we live back home. I'm embarassed about all that I "require" to live my life. I'm ashamed that so much is never good enough. I am humbled to see the joy and strength of these people to live and persevere despite the odds that they will never rise out of the poverty they are in. They look to us as the ones that have the wealth, but sometimes i think they are the ones that have found true wealth and contentment and we are the ones that have such unsettled hearts and empty spirits. I don't know if that makes sense when i try to explain it in words...it makes sense in my heart, though.

okay, time for bed. I have a cell phone now!! sooo, if anyone wants to give me a call (::wink wink nudge nudge::) i'll send you the number. incoming calls are free for me so as long as you are willing to get a phone card.... ;)

xoxo,
Nicole

Well! I have finally discovered the wonders of wireless internet at local coffee shops. So here i am ready to update and present you all with lots of pictures (i hope!). Let me just say right now i am laughing at myself because i am so short and the tables here are so high...i really have to strain to type. I also just met two American-born (egyptian decent) guys here that are in medical school. We talked for a long time and they were telling me about the education system here and their experience as dual-citizens between the two countries. Really interesting stuff. It is very different here - people come up to you and talk all the time, it's the norm. It makes you realize how cold and self-absorbed Americans are. There are always friends to be made here in egypt :)

This week I spent my time doing medical screenings for Sudanese refugee children. At present, Americans (and probably all other foreigners) can not get visas granted to them to enter Sudan. However, there greatest amount of refugees are here in Egypt. It is really a heartbreaking situation. Due to pressures from the USA and the UN, the Egyptian government has to allow them to enter the country. But really, the buck stops there. Egyptians don't recognize the Sudanese at all. It is illegal for them to work, for their children to go to public schools, etc... So what ends up happening is that they live in extreme utter poverty. The money is made by begging, which is difficult b/c Egyptians wont look at them, let alone give them money. The children go to school b/c of NGO's, non-profits and religious organizations that fund the building and maintaining of refugee schools. These schools are where we held the screenings. Each kid get a uniform provided, or in some cases they have to save up for one. Since they arent members of society here, they are not seen by doctors, nor do they recieve any other health services. So the care we provided was the first some of these children have ever recieved in their lives. Some of the very small ones were born here in Egypt as refugees, but most of them fled here - carrying the very sharp and fresh memory of the awful killings in their country.

My job was basically to do a full screening...blood pressures, eyes, ears, nose, throat, heart/lungs, neurologic checks, scoliosis screenings, extremeties, skin, etc... Some problems were the average pediatric illnesses (asthma, heart murmurs, etc...) but so many were crippled, cross-eyed, and bore scars on their bodies from machetes, bullets, knives, etc.. And they have no place to go. It is the most heartbreaking thing. After the few hours they are in school they go "home" to a room where there is no running water or electricity, and there are sometimes 10 to a room. Some of them are here as children, without their families. Some don't know where their families are. There was fear in their eyes. Some screamed and ran for their lives at the first sign of touch, probably crippled from memories of attacks and violence that our minds and eyes will be fortunate enough to probably never witness. It also makes you feel so convicted for the things we complain about.

Probably the thing that my heart hurt for the most was the realization that these children did nothing to deserve this. It's not their fault that they were caught in the middle of a war. It's not their parents fault that they have nothing left. They left one nightmare to be launched directly into another. All they know is the feeling of being hated, worthless and disposable. And it seemed like such an honor to be able to introduce them to Love. Some of the ones i just sat and held and hugged and paid attention to. I want to keep returning to the school and working with the kids. The few classrooms they had were smaller than my bedroom, and held about 30 kids each. I kept thinking about all my selfish dreams...about what an honor it would be and how distinguished i would feel holding my fancy position with UNICEF or being some world-renown physician. After this week i realized i've had it all wrong all along. And that in my heart I know I will never feel more honored than what i've felt being able to be with these children. Between being here, and spending the time at the orphanage in Assuit - i feel like i am coming to understand why the heart of God beats so strongly for the widows and the orphans. For the destitute and the helpless. For the suffering and the poor. These are the beautiful people...these are the simple that will someday confound the wise. These are the people described in the beatitudes...the pure in heart, the poor in spirit, etc.. This week as i saw these kids i kept hearing God speak the beatitudes to me as i asked to see these kids through His eyes. I do not want to leave here yet. I am not ready, and there is more work to be done.

In other news...I started learning Arabic here with a tutor. The sessions are 2 hours a day, 5 days a week. So it's pretty intense i hope to make fast strides. Being here really helps, and having all of our wonderful egyptian friends also helps!! This week it is back to the normal schedule of clinic, office work, book club, etc... It never gets boring here. Today we visited the famous citadel and had a blast! I am beginning to feel more and more at home. Keep me in your prayers as i am trying to order my next steps properly (for life in general). Many are my plans, but i want to hear what it is God would have me do.

Okay, time to cross my fingers and hope that pictures upload quickly!! I've heard people say that they can't comment or that the page doesn't load? I have no real skill with this whole blogging thing, so i'll just have to send my appologies and hope you still find a way to read and correspond with me anyway.

Love,
Nicole

Hi!
It seems like forever since i've written - i'm sorry! I just want to say that i am having such a phenomenal time here...i am starting to get sad that i have to leave in 8 weeks!! The 5 of us girls travelled down to upper egypt (yes, the southern part of egypt is called 'upper'....something to do with the way the Nile flows) to spend Christmas weekend at an orphanage. They celebrate Christmas here (the few christians there are) on Jan 7th. It was *such* a wonderful 3 days. We spent time with all the kids/widows and gave out gifts to each one. There were over 500 presents that went out, each individualized! We visited each age group and did a whole "program" for them - we told the christmas story, played games, sang songs, gave them snacks, and prayed with them. It was so wonderful, they were all so special. We even got to spend time with the widows and elderly women which was a new type of experience for me. Leslie dressed up as santa! We got to watch their Christmas eve play, and attended church with them on Christmas morning. Sleeping at the orphanage was also a fun experience (it was a little 'Nacho Libre'..!). Moody and David's parents live on site (they run the primary boys program) and so on Saturday night they had a hugeeee dinner for the 5 of us, duane and shirley, and 2 other girls who used to work here that were visiting from the states. It was really fun and yummy! The drive was also pretty incredible...5 hours of just desert. It was actually pretty beautiful. The police here are really funny. Upper Egypt has more fundamentalists and is a little more unstable, so after a certain point we needed police escorts in order to be on the road (so we're driving with police cars in front, behind, and on the side of us). It's just funny because i wouldn't trust egyptian police with a bebe gun, but they are soooo serious about what they do. It's just all very entertaining. They have police checks on the road every so often as well. When they see the car with 5 american women, it's a huge ordeal. They all flag us down like the earth is about to end, then they alllll come flooding out to see. At one stop they even brought out chairs! Then one by one, they stick their head in the car and go "Amrika???" in a very serious tone. we say yes. that one turns to others and says "Amrika!" and they all seriously nod their heads. then someone else sticks their head in and looks for a while and goes "fiiiivee???" and it's like "yes, there are five of us." then they all stick their heads in and debate and have a big fancy pow-wow to definately decide there are five of us, then they come back in and say a very serious "five!" (incase we were unsure, i suppose). And then they made sure you know to go "this way" as the all point straight ahead. Mind you, there's one road that goes through the desert. there was no other option but up (and we weren't planning on launching into space) but they made it seem like they had just given us the golden nugget of wisdom. Really funny...and to make it worse this happens about ever half hour :-) Just part of the excitement here in egypt! This week we are working at a medical clinic for Sudanese refugee children - it is awesome and i love it! And we've started our arabic tutoring 2 hours each day 5 days a week. Me and my roomate Jenny joined Leslie and Kayla's gym...so hopefully between all our walking and the gym ("gym") i wont gain any weight from all the yummy egyptian food (eh, who i am kidding...all the peanut butter and jelly). I have an album from the orphanage posted - please check it out! I will write more after the medical screenings are all over. the days here are exhausting but they are spent with the most amazing people in this most special place. Due to the sensitive nature of the country, i can't really talk much publically about the details of some things, but if you would like to hear some more "meaningful" stories, please email me @ LdyNicole9@yahoo.com and i'd love to talk with you!
Till next time,
Nicole <3 href="(http://community.webshots/ldynicole9">http://community.webshots/ldynicole9 )

ps- Right now three of us are watching the season finale of 24 (season one). Why hadn't i seen this show sooner!??! i am so hooked.
pps- i found an old copy of Food & Wine Magazine at the gym and decided that some day I want to attend the Food & Wine Festival in Aspen, CO. Any takers? And i also met a girl who backpacked through Europe last summer and after hearing her stories I am determind to do the same, somehow.
ppps- I think it would be fun to be an ambassador...or atleast the wife of one. they have it good here :)