Well, my first week in Bangladesh has come to an end. I'm sorry this update isn't sooner in getting to you, but between the sporatic electricity and the touch-and-go dial up connection, it has been a bit of a challenge.

This week has had it's share of ups and downs as I try to adjust to an unprecedented amount of culture shock. Life here in a Bengali village is much different than I had originally imagined. Juggling a new language, a new culture, a new set of unfamiliar places/faces, a seemingly infinite language barrier, a new climate (it is *insanely* hot), and barely having and native English speakers around me (or people in my age range!) has been a lot get acclamated to in such a short time period. Two weeks ago I had New York City at my disposal and today I find myself reading and writing letters by candlelight, sleeping under a mosquito net, and at times having only a paper fan to combat the oppressive heat and humidity. While it is easy for me to get caught up in the "woe is me" mentality, just simply observing my surroundings as i live and work totally shakes me and shoots down my selfishness and changes my heart entirely.

Never have my eyes witnessed such poverty and need. Never have i been so overwhelmed by the multitudes plagued with sickness, sadness, hopelessness, poverty and injustice. A great deal of the time i keep asking God a neverending stream of "why??"s. Why is that these people have nothing? Why is there so much suffering here? Why does it seem like all the world has turned a deaf ear to it's brothers and sisters crying out? Why is there no chance for education and prosperity here? Why do men and women still have to live and work like imprisioned slaves? Why can't the cycle of poverty and disease be broken here?

Unfortunately, our culture and society tends to shield us from the "other" way of living, and we are programmed to live our lives subconsciously assuming that it is normal, and the standard all around. I am as guilty as the next person. When I am home, I do not lend all that much consideration to the fact that I am extremely priviledged and blessed. I feel like it is owed me, in some way. *Of course* i have electricity, nice clothing, a new car, a host of electronic devices and trinkets, a top notch education, the world at my fingertips. *Of course* i have credit cards. *Of course* my house has more space than I actually need. *Of course*I have adequate medical care. There isn't anything I need that I lack. There no boundary to what I can become if i put the effort forth. I never have to worry about going hungry. I know my home will not cave in when it rains, and that my city will not be swept away in a moderate flood. I know my children will be provided for. Why was I dealt this lot instead of the lot I see here among these people? What could I have done to earn it? Nothing. So, Lord, why do I live this one way and not the other? What must I do? What must WE do? All too often we do nothing. We don't even realize that something as insignificant as 10 dollars a month could provide food, clothing, shelter and medical care to an entire family for week? Why are we so ignorant to the need of our brothers and sisters? Why do we selfishly hoard all of our riches and comforts so tightly - as if we did something to deserve them!

So, i implore you to search your hearts this week as I have found myself doing. What have I been given, and -more importantly-, why? Surely my very existance can't be only to glorify, prosper and reward myself. Especially those of us who call ourselves Christians and claim to be an extension of the love and character of Christ. We greatfully with open arms embrace the blessings and favor a life given to Christ grants us. We gladly claim the verses that promise us all the good things, the granting of the desires of our hearts, etc... But what about in 1 John where we read "Whoever claimss to live in Him must walk as Jesus did" ? How then, did our Savior live? He loved the unloved; he sat with the poor, the sick and the outcasted. He defended the defenseless. He brought justice to those who could not fight for themselves. He comforted those who mourn. He bestowed gifts on the "least" and "undeserving". He gave Himself - the Ultimate Sacrifice - and yet here we are, blessed beyond measure and we have to sit for hours debating whether we can give $10 a month, or sponsor a needy child, or give a dollar to the homeless man, or donate food/clothes to our local pantry, or go on a short term missions trip, or shovel our elderly neighboors snow, or work pro-bono, or fast a meal to intercede for the lost. We are so "inconvenienced" by it all. Someone else will do it, we say. It's not my "calling". Don't we realize this attitude breaks the heart of God?

Don't get me wrong, I am in no means laying a guilt trp for us. We are a blessed people. But how often we take it for granted. How often we hoard it all and become so inwardly focused. The need is great even in our own backyard. If each of us really truly excercised the love, compassion, kindness and mercy that we are called to exemplify, imagine the change and impact we would see in our world!

We were each given different gifts, blessing, passions, etc.. We each have different careers, visions, and dreams. I am daily starting to search my heart and asking God to show me and teach me how to walk as He did. To see my career and my life as not some great quest for personal gain and fame, but that my life would reach others and that I would a good steward of all that He has given me and entrusted me with. I challenge you all to do the same.

I do not want to be idle anymore. In the light of eternity, all of my treasures on Earth are worthless compared to the life i find when I am overflowing with the love and character of Christ.

I hope to be able to update you again soon about work I am doing here. Lots to say! Please continue to keep the people of Bangladesh in your prayers, and also myself, as I continue to pray for all of you at home.

Love,
Nicole